Friday, July 20, 2007

The Spider Speaks. Kind of.

It just occurred to me that exactly two people have been simultaneously giving me the silent treatment. The Spider, who hasn't spoken to or emailed me since May 1, and my mother, who has ignored my emails and text messages since Sunday.

This is the price I pay for standing up for myself, for telling others how I want things to be. Evidently, people don't expect that from me and have always known me to bend to their will. They don't like it one bit.

I really feel at odds with their reactions. I've always been a people-pleaser, anxious not to hurt feelings and step on toes. As a result, my own toes have been crushed repeatedly. It's hard not to revert back to placating and apologizing!

Yesterday, The Spider broke her silence. But only because she wanted something from me. She offered no pleasantries; her email was brief and frosty. She's trying to form a critique group (since she got kicked out of ours) and wants me to give her the email address of a mutual acquaintance/writer. She also wanted to know if I'd participate in her group. I'd like to email her "There's no way in hell." Instead, I'm going to be as brief and frosty as she was, give her the email address and cite my busy schedule and new job as reasons I will not join her group.

The The Spider's silent treatment will probably resume.

As for my mom, I'm simply going to fight fire with fire. Or silence with silence. I promise, she'll break first.


sallyrogers said...

Wow... we're having such parallel experiences with friends. It's odd. And it's so uncomfortable. If you're like me you still feel guilty even though you're the one who was hurt.

teahouse said...

I've been catching up on your old posts regarding the Spider..and all I can say is Ughghghghghhh!!! I've dealt with a couple of people like abnormal that you feel like you have to break up with them to get them out of your life. And it's always drama, etc. That sucks that she's your neighbor, too. All I can say is that I'm PROUD of you for getting rid of her. You are stronger than you think!

sue said...

I don't suppose you could have give HER the silent treatment back? (The spider)... probably not. You're too nice.