Saturday, July 21, 2007

The inlaws piss me off. Again.

A few weeks ago my mother-in-law let me know that her husband, Papa, (my husband's stepfather) would be in Minnesota. She told me Papa would give us a call so we could get together for dinner while he was here. The other day, Papa finally called and asked if my husband could come pick him up (he's at his daughter's house, an hour away) this Saturday. I said, sure. He said he'd call back with more details and the time, location, etc.

He calls back yesterday and only during the course of this conversation do I find out he intends to spend the night at our house. After I hung up, I was livid and began rampaging around the house, cleaning like a madwoman. You see, I hadn't expected any guests, let alone an extended visit. My house was a wreck! Toys and debris scattered about every room; a coating of dust on every surface; pots and pans in the sink; dirty floors; filthy bathroom, old shower curtain. I called my husband at work and told him his mother was a marked woman for not telling me Papa planned to STAY with us. And I wasn't even sure if it was just for one night or WHAT. And I wasn't sure where to put him - this isn't a big house. Our guest bed is fifteen years old, sagging, lumpy, uncomfortable. It isn't safe for an 80-something old man to sleep on. And I'd just gone grocery shopping but since I didn't know I'd have a house guest, I hadn't bought mild foods for his ultra-sensitive digestive tract.

I haven't been this furious - nearly punching walls - in a long, long time. Yes, I've been angry, I've been depressed and despondent at times, but this was sheer rage.

Don't get me wrong - I love Papa and because he's getting up there in years, it's important we spend time with him while we can. But I must be prepared. I must have an itinerary! My life has been chaotic, lately, with working, interviewing for another job, dealing with The Spider and my mom and giving my notice to The Questionable Company.

The sad part is, I wanted someone to vent to and my mom would have been my first choice but SHE'S NOT SPEAKING TO ME. So that made me even more angry!

My inlaws tend to do this sort of thing - not give all the pertinent details. I told my husband, "Next summer, we're just showing up in Florida (where they live) and we're going to call from the airport and say, 'Come pick us up!'" They owe us and they are going to pay.


Kenna said...

No advance warning, no obligation on your part for the house to be clean!

teahouse said...

Yeah, seriously. Very uncool of your mother in law to do this to you. It's not ideal, but please don't let it send you into a tizzy and disturb your inner peace. Just take a deep breath...he'll just have to sleep in the lumpy bed and eat the food you have around. That's how my relatives deal with it. We're all on notice that we can stay at each other's houses whenever, but nobody is going crazy with the overboard hostess stuff - he's one of the family, so he can deal.

Hang in will all be fine, and in the grand scheme of things, it's not the end of the world. And at least you like him!

sue said...

OMG - we are sooo alike. I got into a frenzy when I hear ANYONE is coming over, let alone staying the night. We've always said we don't have a showplace house, that we live in it. However, when company comes I like to have the cat hair vacuumed off the sofas, the dishes in the dishwasher, my husbands' clean undies off the diningroom table (I use it as my laundry folding area). Hubs doesn't get near as frantic as I do, but over the years he HAS learned to give me as much warning as he can if he knows someone is coming by... I feel for ya, hun!